Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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