just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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