i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize