how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
