He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
