So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
