he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My life is pants optional.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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