ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
His hands were made for my vagina.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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