i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
