hotel room ftw
4 words: hood of his car
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
