She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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