so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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