As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
