coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
