You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
