when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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