Already got asked if we're dating
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
