After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
