Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
D3 body, D1 cock
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
