Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
