Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
