Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
