is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
