he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
