I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
