is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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