hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
