I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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