so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
