he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
