we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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