margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
