it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
