Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
