You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
