At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
