I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We got so high we made milksteak
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
