I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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