we're blogging at a bar
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
