I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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