I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize