I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
