Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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