i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize