someone threw a dead crab at me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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