if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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