i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
