his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize