Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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