note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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