Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
