Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
