Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They took my balls.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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