I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You ruined the universe
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
