can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so explain again why im purple
no
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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