try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up