I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.