This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
