Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
