they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
