I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
