I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
