Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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