My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
