this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
