the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you made out with another girl for some wings
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
